


Little Lion Man

by morticrows



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cryostasis, Dissociation, Guilt, Hospitals, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Physical Disability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-War, Prosthetic Limbs, Unresolved Tension, Wheelchairs, also some other canon divergence stuff probably so i can make it fit my story, bullet wounds, but sir thats my emotional support robot, codsworth is a blessing, does major character death apply when theres two of him, ellie is practically a cryptid in this, feelings are hurt, i used and a lot, im gay let me have this, in which sole survivor leo whitman and nick valentine met pre-war and became husbands, jenny was nick's childhood friend in this, kind of, lets pretend homophobia doesnt exist in this au and let these two men adopt a child pre-war, nick valentine bottles things up, nick valentine is the only cop that ever mattered, nothing too major besides the initial pre-war gay marriage and adoption thing though, past leo is Bitter, possibly unrealistic hospital standards, sorry ellie, the battle of anchorage is also mentioned but idk jack shit abt the actual battle, theres a lot of hurt before it gets to the comfort part i gotta say, theres one and its mentioned, vaults
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 02:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20685917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morticrows/pseuds/morticrows
Summary: " His husband was dead. He knew his husband was dead. So something in him twisted when he heard his voice again in that vault......Things like that don't come back. He wasn't a starfish, he wasn't going to just pop out a new leg someday. And Nick wasn't just gonna get un-shot, he wasn't going to play an uno reverse card from beyond the grave and come back like nothing happened. "Sole Survivor, Leo Valentine (used to be Whitman), just keeps getting dealt one blow after another. Maybe, though, there's light at the end of this tunnel.(this work is inspired by another a03 fic! it fueled me to make an entire oc based around a similar concept)





	Little Lion Man

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Memories of You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7453012) by [Casey_Wolfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casey_Wolfe/pseuds/Casey_Wolfe). 

His husband was dead. He _knew_ his husband was dead. So something in him twisted when he heard his voice again in that vault. He ignored the subtle (or maybe not so subtle at all) signs, one of which literal, because it couldn't be. It just couldn't. Codsworth put on a hopeful front, but the sad undertone of his voice told Leo that he, too, knew it was too good to be true. Right? He had even taken Codsworth down into Vault 111, to give him some closure. The event could only have happened maybe a day or so prior, that's what it _felt_ like, so of course it was as fresh and crisp in his mind then just as the memory of him loosing his leg during the Battle of Anchorage was fresh in his mind once he woke up, dazed and delirious from blood loss in one of the medic tents. It happened, and there was evidence to prove it. One, a cold, dead body. The other, a prosthetic leg in place of where his old one once was. One, a second, achingly familiar ring on his left hand, right above another matching ring. The other, the aches that came when it rained, often having meant lost sleep, not being able to phase out the annoying pain.

Things like that don't come back. He wasn't a starfish, he wasn't going to just pop out a new leg someday. And Nick wasn't just gonna get un-shot, he wasn't going to play an Uno reverse card from beyond the grave and come back like nothing happened.

And yet there they were, in vault 114, hearing a man who's voice was unarguably the one that belonged to his husband. He looked over his should, back at Codsworth, with a look that distinctly said; 'You're hearing this too, right?'. Whether Codsworth saw it or not, he wasn't sure, as the robot's eye-stalks seem to have been trying to zoom in up above them, to where the voice was coming from. He took the mister handy's silence as a 'yes', seeing as he was usually very talkative.

Seeing him didn't make it any better, only more confused. When the rooms door opened, Leo stood there at the entrance, stock-still and silent. He felt like he was his parent's old terminal that took forever to boot up. It was almost enough for him to being making the dail-up noise, if that weren't physically possible. Codsworth, however, hovered in as fast as his jets could take him.

"S-sir!" Codsworth sputtered, "Is it really you?"

Leo was starting to get his hopes up. No matter how goddamn impossible it was, what if this was Nick? _His_ Nick? What would he do first, if it was? Apologize, he thinks. Cry, maybe. Search for their abducted, adopted child together, afterwards.

It wouldn't take a genius to realize that their relationship was starting to dwindle, two or three months before the bombs dropped. Nick had gotten wrapped up in some new case, or at least that's what Leo assumed. Sure, he worried about other things that could've been keeping Valentine away from home for days, once even a week, but he trusted him. And every time Nick did come back home, he looked worse than he had last. It worried Leo because Nick wouldn't tell him anything about what was going on. He'd wave it off, say he was fine. It got to the point where it seemed like Nick only came home to sleep, and sometimes Leo wondered if that truly _was_ the case, considering how heavy the bags under his partner's eyes were. Sure, Leo was glad to have him home, to know he was safe and not possibly dead in some back alley because he tried to negotiate with the wrong person, but it didn't stop him from going right back to fear when Valentine was gone in the morning. And it wasn't just him, they had a child to raise. It, whatever _it_ was that had wedged itself into Nick's life, was hurting all of them. Shaun needed both of his fathers. It all came to a boiling point for Leo. He was sick and tired of stressing like this, of Nick refusing to tell him anything, of refusing his help, of taking care of their child alone.

Nick came home that night, and Leo tried one more time to get him to talk. Pleaded that he'd listen, if only Nick would tell him.

Then Nick brushed him off. Again.

He saw it coming, but it didn't make it any less painful. It didn't dull the pain, or the fear, or the disappointment.

So he got angry. He yelled some, Nick eventually yelled back, and then Nick left again, leaving Leo teary-eyed in a dark house. What was supposed to be their house now felt lonelier than ever.

After three days of his absence, Leo ordered a mister handy robot. Juggling all his emotions AND an infant, less than a year old, was leaving the man tattered and worn. He needed help, and if Nick was too immature to provide it, to be home when they needed him most, well then he supposed he'd just have to buy it. While he was slightly wary letting a robot tend to his infant child, he was ten times more wary of letting some stranger do it.

Codsworth was so much more than Leo ever thought he'd be. So much more kind, so attentive. He had such a personality. Needless to say, he warmed up to him quickly. It was nice having something, no- scratch that-, some_ONE_ there to help him, when a certain husband decided that whatever it was he was worried about was a lot more important than his family. It wasn't the same, obviously, and Codsworth wasn't a replacement for Nick in any case, but washing the dishes with Codsworth as he hummed a tune almost made the house feel more like a home again. Not to mention he was great with Shaun, so careful and so quick to fret over the smallest things that he couldn't wrap his processors around. Leo, understanding that human babies could be hard to understand, would always calm him down and take over watching Shaun until whatever had frightened the other passed.

When Nick Valentine came back home, a week and a half after his initial departure, Leo and Codsworth were preparing lunch. Leo only saw him out of his peripherals, muttering a 'welcome home', fiercely focused on cutting that carrot. Codsworth, always the gentleman, hovered his way over and took Nick's coat for him, despite Nick's slight confusion over this new addition to the household. Leo made a point to focus on cutting harder, trying to ease away all these ugly feelings he was having. Part of him wished Codsworth had given Nick the cold shoulder (cold... arm beam? cold... metal tendril?), but the other part understood the bot was only being polite. He was bitter, but mostly he was just... hurt. And he decided it was his turn to be a little selfish. His turn to be immature. If Nick finally wanted to talk, then he'd have to bring it up himself, because Leo was done wasting all of his energy on trying to bring it out of him.

While Leo didn't give him the silent treatment, per-say, many of their conversations after that were curt and short. A few halfhearted comments here, equally as halfhearted replies there, Codsworth occasionally chiming in. The worst thing was that he could feel the guilt wafting off of Valentine like some kind of cloud, sticking to his skin, see it in his face, (when given the chance), but Nick still wouldn't bring it up. It frustrated him to no end. They're both smart men, sure, but they're also both stubborn as hell. It probably wasn't so much as Nick not admitting he did something wrong and more ''if i don't say anything it will all go back to normal''.

It didn't. But at least Nick stayed. He mentioned at one point under his breath that he had taken a few weeks off. That, at the very least, did make Leo happy.

He didn't hate Nick, god no, he loved Nick, but he was worn thin from the emotions Nick had put him through.

And of course the day he decided he was going to talk to Nick, to try again, to just have his husband look him in the goddamn eyes again, that was the day the bombs just had to drop.

The bombs, the vault, the cyrostasis, the kidnapping of their son, his husbands _death_.

A hellish series of events.

And that brings us to where he is now. Staring at this yellow-led-eyed... robot? Who seems to talk like his dead husband. Even moves like his dead husband, he notices, as he distinctly recognized the way this stranger lights a cigarette with acute precision. He can almost even recognize the box.

This... robot? regards Codsworth, his brows (or lack therefore of) knit together in what seems to be concentration. "Apologizes, friend, I don't quite remember you. 'Couple hundred years and a few knocks to the head can do that, I'm afraid."

Annnd there it is. The other shoe has dropped. It doesn't seem like this Nick is paying any particular regards to him, either. It feels so incredibly wrong to him, though, that this strange man seems to encompass so much of what his husband was. It makes him wonder- was Nick really so popular that he has impersonators a few hundred years after Armageddon? He's not... mad, but the twisting feeling in his guts he's getting from it all is making him nauseous.

Codsworth visibly wilts a little at the words. "... Ah. I must have... mistaken you for another. I'm awfully sorry."

Nick's about to say something, but Leo knocks a hand against the vault door frame, catching both of the other men's attentions. As much as he'd love to pick this guy's brain for info right here and now, he feels like he's in a Twilight Zone episode and needs to get out of this place before he starts dissociating worse than he already is. "We can talk outside, because while I have a lot of questions for you, I'd super love to get out of this mouse maze before I die of claustrophobia."

And so, they make their way out of the vault. Nick occasionally chats, and Leo occasionally acknowledges them with noncommittal grunts and hums. Again, Codsworth is uncharacteristically silent. Leo feels like he's in some kind of fucked up fever dream, every action Nick makes, every word he says, they all just fuel the damn fever. Dry wood into a flame. Colors blend, he knows he's where he is logically, but he feels far away. His brain enters auto-pilot at some point. He says things, he's not sure what, but he thinks they were good things, because not long after he and Nick and Codsworth are running out of the vault, through the train station and finally- Finally they're outside. The cold night air brings him back to his senses and he finally feels like more than just a fucking spectator again. Sure the air's not exactly crisp nor clean, but it's so much better than it was down there.

He's decided he's sick to death of vaults, and everything like 'em from then on.

"So," Leo says, opening his stupid mouth to say some stupid things, "How long have you been impersonating my husband for?"

Oh yeah that was sooo casual. So very normal. The textbook definition of 'thing you should say to a complete stranger', he's sure of it.

He couldn't see Nick's face, but he sure could here the guy's processors firing into overdrive.

After a minute of what one could only assume was complete and utter bafflement, came a "... Sorry, what?" Which is a completely normal reaction to this being the second full sentence you've heard from someone you've never met before. It is entirely understandable.

"I said," No. No don't repeat it. Don't do that.  
"_How long have you been impersonating my dead fucking husband?_" Oh dear god.

Nick turns around, slack-jawed, his face contorting with several different emotions at once. Codsworth, ever intuitive, takes this as a perfect moment to remind them that they were standing in the middle of ruined Boston. Y'know, the Boston with blood-hungry supermutants around every corner, and raiders behind every wall? Yeah, that one. And _because_ it's that one, they should probably continue this conversation once behind the safe, stadium walls of diamond city.

Except he said it nicer than that, because that's just who he is.

They talked for a while, about what their relationship was pre-war. Leo told him about the fights near the end, and Nick told him what he remembered about the Eddie Winter case, and about how Eddie had killed one of Nick's childhood friends- a woman named Jennifer Lands. He talked about how he remembers regretting not having spent more time with her. Eventually Codsworth leaves (after asking, of course) to go and look around Diamond City.

"I think I've remembered more about myself here talking to you for the past hour or so than I have the past 200 years since I woke up in that landfill." Nick chuckles, charismatic as always.

"Well, I'm glad you at least remember me now." Leo smiles, lopsided. He's a little sad still because while this will never likely be the exact Nick he used to know doesn't mean he can't still fully enjoy his company. Especially having got all that bullshit off his chest. His mind's a lot more clear, a lot less guilty. It's nice.

They sit in companionable silence for a while, Nick leaned back in his chair, feet kicked up (carefully, minding the files and paperwork) on the edge of his desk, his hat placed over his eyes.

"Though there is one bit that I can't seem to really recall, so," Nick starts, "How did we meet?"

And oh what a story that was.

Leo had been transported to the hospital not too long after being honorably dismissed from the military because of his injury, so that they could give him the proper medical care and assistance he needed. He was mute for at least 2 weeks, and he could barely sleep because when he closed his eyes, all he could see were his blood soaked hands gripping on to where his knee used to be. People were constantly coming in and out, in and out of his room, talking about him like he wasn't there, or like he was some inanimate object, or some hurt kid. He was a fucking soldier, dammit. He was a grown man, even with only one leg. But it wasn't like he had the energy to do anything about it, so he just quietly existed as the world spun ever so mercilessly on.

He'd have been bouncing with joy the day they moved him to a normal room, if he could've. They said something about putting him through rehabilitation, so they were moving him to a normal room. Not only that, but since he could eat and swallow normally, they took all those IVs and shit out of him too. They even gave him a wheelchair to roll around in, even if it took some getting used to in several different ways. Like transferring himself from the bed onto the chair, for instance. Messed that one up more times than he'd ever like to admit.

After almost 4 months in there though, it started to feel like a damn deathtrap. At this point, he got to roll down the halls, but the biting sterileness of it all was, ironically, sickening after spending so long in it. He didn't really have any friends or family that would care to see him, or at least not ones that weren't still out in Alaska. He read, occasionally, but had no real interest in the gossip magazines that were always delivered to him. Who cares what new song Elvis released if he didn't even have a chance of hearing it while he was here? And whenever the news came on he turned off the television. A lot of the news stories were about the war up north, and he was sick of hearing about it.

Eventually they moved him to a room divided into two with one of those curtain dividers. He figured they were probably running low on empty rooms, and since he was pretty much fully recovered, health-wise, they stuck him in there. Though for a while he might as well have had his old one bed room back, since no one was in there with him.

That is, until that wasn't true.

One day, this man was moved in there with him. Nick Valentine was his name. He said he was a detective, and apparently he had got shot in the foot on-duty. They hit it off pretty well, even when Leo would trail off or zone out, Nick never got mad. Never raised his voice, always just patiently waited for Leo's brain to come back 'round. Eventually, of course, Nick recovered and left, and Leo was only again. Lucky for him, though, that prosthetic leg the military was paying for him to get was finally finished not long after. He finished his rehabilitation within a month and was, thank god, finally released from the hospital.

After relaying that to Nick, they moved on to other topics. And in the morning, they were going to start their search for Shaun, together. And Leo thinks things might just turn out alright in the end, as long as Nick's here. He hopes that dead, human Nick doesn't mind too much, but he realizes that he can't just live off of wondering what the dead think of him. He needs to focus on the now, and who's with him today. And that happens to be synth Nick.

And he's just fine with that.

**Author's Note:**

> html is hard and im gay
> 
> anyway thanks for reading! i spent a ton of time on this and it's the first fanfic ive finished in Actual Years. probably since 2016.  
if there are any grammatical or punctuation errors i apologize because i usually only type in all lowercase without punctuation, like im doing in this very sentence  
i also got very tired at the end of this so it gets a tad lazy haha whoops
> 
> another place to find me:  
my instagram is corpsecrows
> 
> oh! also- here's what Leo's face looks like! doodled it up before i started writing:
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/37213d7052428eea65b500e18af92cd8/tumblr_py0nhtPNDi1xuabh8o1_640.png


End file.
